Stupidity, and it don’t stop.

By The Elahater

Hello fellow haters and lovers,

I know it’s been quite awhile since my last post. So many hateful and ignorant things have happened that I just couldn’t keep up with it all. So here’s a mini-roundup of the past few weeks of ignorance:

The fist-bump heard around the world:

What’s great about this initial “report” (term used more loosely here than when applied to a 2nd grade science project) is that they kept calling it a “fist bump.” What the hell is that? And the only person with any sense in the newsroom to realize that people have been giving daps for years was probably the intern they forced to dig up all the footage of previous Obama pounds. Fox News also called it a “terrorist fist jab.” I now like to call it an Islamofacist pound. The blowup afterward is no coincidence, my friends.

Stick with high-fiving—as American as apple pie.

Getting stabbed over keeping the name “C-Thug.”

Two guys fighting over who is the real “C-Thug.” Really though? If you’re going to get cut for a nickname, this is probably the absolute worst one you could have been stabbed over. That and maybe C-Money… Or C-Dawg…. What’s even funnier is that it wasn’t one of the C-Thugs who stabbed the other, but a 44 year-old woman who didn’t want them arguing on her front lawn. I guess she’s the new C-Thug.

“Get the hell off my lawn”—C-Thug

A group of teenage girls making a pact to all get pregnant before graduation.

Damned Juno and her clever punchlines that no one ever uses in real life—so influential. And you want someone to love you? It’s called a Cabbage Patch Kid, girls. Look into it.

You’ll grow weary of me in a week, trust me.

Three in 10 Americans say they have a racial bias

The subheadline for this story should be “Seven in 10 Americans are liars.” Well maybe the seven don’t have any racial bias because they have black friends?

As good as belonging to the NAACP.