Pimp My Dignity
By The Elahater
I present, Pimp Juice—apparently hip hop has an energy drink now! I guarantee you no MCs are drinking this crap before a battle for that extra boost. Otherwise they might start singing crappy songs.
But that’s beside the point. Nelly, in all of his ignorant glory, has introduced the P.I.M.P. Scholarship as a way to give back.
Description: “The 3rd annual Pimp Juice P.I.M.P ³Upgrade Your Life² Scholarship Competition. The Scholarship competition requires a photo and essay submission concerning how the student plans to ³Upgrade His/ Her Life² through education, hard work, creativity, heart, and philanthropy.”
Giving money to deserving students? That’s fantastic. But why must you call it a PIMP scholarship? Who, in God’s name, would want to be that on their resume?
Awards
PIMP Scholarship 2008—given to a student who wants to upgrade his or her life through the core pimp values.
Yeah, Harvard won’t be calling, I can promise you that. They have a strict, anti-pimp policy.
“Big pimpin? Pimp deez.”—first female Harvard president
But I must acknowledge that the PIMP scholarship is an acronym, which actually makes it worse:
Positive
Intellectual
Motivated
Person
In other words, a pimp!
He’s positive, intellectual, and motivated to whore out as many women as possible
Do we really want to slap that label on this kid?
Noooo, not Timmy!!
The qualifications for the scholarship require applicants to describe how they plan to “upgrade” their lives via education, hard work, creativity, heart, and philanthropy.
Or, in other words, how they plan to pimp their education, hard work, creativity, heart and philanthropic pursuits for personal gain and benefit.
Why can’t you just give the scholarship, using your blood money, but call it something else? Why must you perpetuate all things ignorant?
Stick to your singing, Nelly.
Frickin’ great post…you’re the bloggiest blogger ever! The quote from the Harvard president is great. How the blog did you get her to say that? This is all original reporting, right?
whoo hoo! thanks for the shout out. also you didn’t say anything about the fact that a photo is required. why do you need to know what i look like to reward my ability to pimp my academic talents? that one definitely threw me off a little lol…
~M
Good call, Maya. Here is part of the application process:
“Photo Competition:
Please include a photograph with you and a can of pimp juice (either the original, purple label, or PJ Tight can) that best embodies your plan to “Upgrade Your Life.” FSB expects creativity and fun to exude from your submission.”
Yeah, Pimp Juice is the new Adderall.
I hate that part of the application process is to be a walking advertiser for that crap. it pretty much kills any positive it could have done.
I’m going to have to agree with you on this one. I’m not hating on the Pimp Juice because I’m glad to see rappers make financial moves, investments even, rather than spend ALL their money on dumb crap and end up like Hammer.
I don’t think there’s anything more to say about the PJ Scholarship than it’s ridiculous.
And if you think Hot in Here is a crappy song, then there’s something wrong with you. As far as club bangers go, it’s tame and old folks can get down to it. Unlike oh say Magic Stick or My Neck My Back.